Unlike many of my sisters…

A Twitter thread by @tryingattimes

Unlike many of my sisters here, I partake in penis on occasion, and not without enthusiasm. This does not in any way alter the fact that Penis™️ is a broadly problematic brand. I realise that this makes Some Men sad, but that cannot be helped anymore now than <enter x> years ago.

This re-branding exercise of Penis™️ WILL FAIL, because a significant minority of men insist on misusing the one they were issued. Analogies with guns volunteer themselves at this point. “It’s not the gun, but the criminal”, etc. SO FUCKING WHAT?

A gun pointed in your direction

is an immediate cause for alarm, and so, quite frankly, are surprise penises.

Situationally, it doesn’t particularly matter to women whether it’s the penis or the man wielding it that is the problem. The entire package of surprise penis plus man is unwanted. NO THANK YOU.

No amount of superficial revamping of either penis or man will change this.

The surprise element of strange and/or unexpected penis will never be redeemed. It is never wanted, very rarely funny, and an immediate trigger of fight or flight; instinctive physiological reactions.